Posts Tagged ‘queer community’

Multiple choice.

February 27, 2009

What has highfemme been up to for the last however-many weeks?  Was it:

a) Falling from anti-consumerist grace.

b) Baking 5 dozen cookies, pastries, and cupcakes.

c) Doing femme organizing work to bring together countless brilliant and queertastic ladies for fun, creativity, and stereotype-busting.

d) Falling even more deeply in love with her handsome butch.

Bet you can guess.  Yeah, it’s all of the above.  And then some.  Commentary, in brief: a) ah, those pesky recession sales and irresistible knee-high boots; b) with homemade cream cheese frosting, no less;  c) femmes rock;  d) I am so fucking lucky to have her in my life; and e) all I want for my birthday is more sleep.

xoxo

me

Queer dance party (to go)!

December 18, 2008

I cannot count the number of times I have danced around my living room in solidarity with this video.

Ethical community.

December 17, 2008

“We do not want to be hated for who we are, where we come from, and what we do.” — A prominent queer femme activist.

Wait. You don’t want to be hated for what you do? There seems to be an underlying assumption here that “we” only includes the honorable ones, the ones who are out there fighting the good queer fight, challenging outdated and oppressive assumptions, defending the most vulnerable and disenfranchised among us — and, moreover, spreading kindness and charity along the way.

But the queer community, like any other, is made up of good, bad, and — mostly, if we’re honest — complicated characters. I don’t think we should hate each other for instances of bad behavior, but I certainly think we should be discerning and explicit about what we expect from one another. No matter how talented and devoted an activist, no matter how brilliant a social commentator, no matter how attractive or intelligent a person, people — femmes and feminists included — fail.

And when “what we do” just isn’t right — when a person spouts racist invective or unexamined class assumptions, or is emotionally or physically abusive, or crosses sexual boundaries, or acts in ways that fly in the face of common sense and shared values — then I would argue that it is the right and the obligation of the community to hold our own accountable.

I don’t think of community as a group of people behaving as they please with mutual agreement not to judge or even react to unethical or destructive acts. I envision community as a dynamic, diverse network of people who are deeply committed to interrelated goals and who rely on one another to encourage and — if necessary — enforce behavior that leads us towards those goals.

We have to build trust if we want to build solidarity.